Circles.
I remember in Samoa, in preparation for returning to the Real World, our old lives and appointments,
clean clothes and AC, we were required to close those circles we'd opened since arriving. In simple terms, we were bound to everyone who had shown us any kindness or hospitality that could only be released by having a proper farewell. Though goodbye’s usually aren’t forever, circumstances of distance make Samoa an exception. The people of the islands could hardly afford a single cigarette at a time, let alone a plane ticket across the world’s largest ocean. The idea of my return seemed unlikely too, quite possibly for the same reason. So, with a few days in mid-may before leaving the island, each person I’d studied with found time to meet with those they’d known, no matter how short or long, deep or impersonal the relationship had been, in order to say a “goodbye forever.” The emotion around such a goodbye was nothing like one might imagine it to be. Instead of heavy and tearful, it’s so common and accepted that each farewell passed smoothly and cheerful. It was with these goodbyes that I closed the circles I had opened with people weeks or months before, gracefully departing with a calming sense of closure as or waves were blocked by fale and plam tree.
clean clothes and AC, we were required to close those circles we'd opened since arriving. In simple terms, we were bound to everyone who had shown us any kindness or hospitality that could only be released by having a proper farewell. Though goodbye’s usually aren’t forever, circumstances of distance make Samoa an exception. The people of the islands could hardly afford a single cigarette at a time, let alone a plane ticket across the world’s largest ocean. The idea of my return seemed unlikely too, quite possibly for the same reason. So, with a few days in mid-may before leaving the island, each person I’d studied with found time to meet with those they’d known, no matter how short or long, deep or impersonal the relationship had been, in order to say a “goodbye forever.” The emotion around such a goodbye was nothing like one might imagine it to be. Instead of heavy and tearful, it’s so common and accepted that each farewell passed smoothly and cheerful. It was with these goodbyes that I closed the circles I had opened with people weeks or months before, gracefully departing with a calming sense of closure as or waves were blocked by fale and plam tree. Staring out the plane window at Apia harbor below, the striking blue water and red-roofed buildings staring back, I was able to pick out a church I’d sat in front of on many occasions when class too priority over island romance and guitar playing suburban hippies. I remember my face pressed against the glass, disappointment pressing back, surging into my sunburned veins. The church reminded me of the only circle I’d left open. Though I hadn’t practiced it for long, closing the circles seemed of utmost importance. Just like living anywhere for long enough, you pick up the local customs. Simple phrases and songs slip through lips in a native tongue, shoes are removed, people respected, you know the stuff. For me, closing the circle was now needed for a feeling of peace.
During the long silent plane ride en route to the Real World, I was harboring some frustration about an open circle. Though I soon blocked it from effecting my functioning, it still lingered. This weekend, I aimed to close it. 2000 miles, a huge parking bill at DIA, and the expense of some pride and all my clothes smelling like a Parisian night club, and I’ve done it…closed my last remaining circle. Contrarary to his belief, I doubt the circle can ever or will ever be re-opened. Whether it be too frustrating for me or the fact that this world is so goddamn big for any coincidental run-in, it will remain closed. I feel like a huge taro plant has been lifted off my chest, and I can finally look at this “relationship” for what it was… two kids looking for something familiar in their quest to find something different.
Cheers…as the Fat Dragon would say, [clap] it is finished.
During the long silent plane ride en route to the Real World, I was harboring some frustration about an open circle. Though I soon blocked it from effecting my functioning, it still lingered. This weekend, I aimed to close it. 2000 miles, a huge parking bill at DIA, and the expense of some pride and all my clothes smelling like a Parisian night club, and I’ve done it…closed my last remaining circle. Contrarary to his belief, I doubt the circle can ever or will ever be re-opened. Whether it be too frustrating for me or the fact that this world is so goddamn big for any coincidental run-in, it will remain closed. I feel like a huge taro plant has been lifted off my chest, and I can finally look at this “relationship” for what it was… two kids looking for something familiar in their quest to find something different.
Cheers…as the Fat Dragon would say, [clap] it is finished.
